Story of Faith by Paul M. Anderson

“Looking Back 52 Years”

Time does not change men, will power does not change men, Christ does.

(Henry Drummond, “The Greatest Thing in the World”) The year before moving to Duluth in 1971 I was living the supposed American dream: good job, new house, great family, wonderful wife – but something was missing. “Was this all there was to life?” With considerable reluctance, I had agreed to participate, with my wife Carol, in a weekly small group Bible study. Intellectually, as a scientist, the idea of a “Creator” seemed obvious, but I was quite skeptical about the claims of “Christianity.” But, the discussions in the groups were stirring something within me (in retrospect, the “Holy Spirit?”). I recall reading the quote by Henry Drummond one evening and being somewhat startled – and excited – to realize that I understood its meaning! Grace – a gift of “life” through Jesus Christ! I purchased a New Testament and read most of it over a period of several months. I was amazed. Here was a blueprint for living with meaning, purpose, and joy, a description and an explanation of the separation from God that I had been experiencing.

And, so began a new journey. Looking back some 52 years later I am enormously grateful for the assurance of God’s love and care, even in difficult circumstances. The latter was exemplified by the death in a plane accident of our 33-year old son, Scott, while testing a new airplane. I wrote this to a friend afterwards: Yes, our grief has been deep…our lives have been changed forever. But, this isn’t all of the story…I have sensed that there is another resolve that is fighting the battle within me and us, and will prevail, I am sure…Somewhere in here I have sensed that there is truth to be found, new directions, new meanings, new understanding, new paths to God. I am thankful for the years of faith building by others within my soul that allows me to see this.

I am also grateful for the many opportunities I’ve had to deepen my understanding of God’s truth and my faith – through books, study, mentors, outreach, mission, community, especially in my church. Again, looking back some 52 years, a paragraph I wrote 20 years ago remains with me: I will never fully comprehend the mystery of God. But, I can look at the life of Jesus and catch a glimpse of the nature of God and an example of how life is meant to be lived. “Love others as I have loved you. This is how your joy will be complete.” Love, as exemplified by the life of Jesus! The gift of understanding and acceptance by God is exhilarating, joyful. But along with it comes a conflicting emotion: a sense of unworthiness and a profound awareness of my inadequacies for living this way. Yet, Jesus asks me to practice this kind of love – it is laid out as the highest standard of the Christian life. Why? Perhaps because God’s plan is that this is precisely how I will experience joy and completeness. It is as if God says, “I realize that from your perspective in the world this may not make sense, but trust me.”

“Trust me!” An especially meaningful Bible verse: To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he simply trusted God who judges justly. )1Peter 2:21-23)